G3

Not many of our gentle readers have had, shall we say, rural training. Although one of our esteemed G3 authors was raised on a farm, most g33ks have had very little contact with barn yard critters.

Since I suspect our particular peer group may be more prone to traumatic experiences at petting zoos than other groups, I encourage everyone out there to seek help:

The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation

Warning: This site depicts graphic violence by goats.

- W

I am by the lamp post, master.

“HUMANITY’S OBSESSION with pets has just gone barking with Canadian dog owners giving their best friend a mobile phone to bark down.” The full article is here…

… too much.

The Morning After

In my quest to be less fat, I’ve been drinking quite a bit of diet soda lately.

Somebody told me to do a little research into Aspartame (the artificial sweetener of just about every diet goo on the market) and decide whether I really wanted to drink that stuff after all.

Lots of people think Aspartame is a pretty nasty substance. At least on the web, however, much of these folks have the source of their misgivings in the “Nancy Markle Hoax“. This turned out to be a bogus letter written by another woman who is neither a scientist nor a doctor. Her claims are pretty sensational, and are repeated ad nauseum by people too lazy to do a little of their own research.

Discounting this kind of “I pasted it in my website because it must be true” tripe, there are a few seemingly more reputable sources of concern out there. Here’s one of the better sites, with many links to physician statements: Aspartame Warning.

Much of the concern out there focuses on what Aspartame turns into when warmed (in the can, or in the body): Formaldehyde.

In my research, I also discovered the FDA did an investigation on GD Searle (the inventors of Aspartame) after Aspartame was already on the market. They wanted to see if the trials done on animals (prior to approval for humans) were conducted appropriately. The FDA concluded that Searle did quite a few things to cover up what the sweetener really did to animals:
(more…)

Welcome to another installment of….

The What The? Files

Ever wish you could just order somebody else around, and they’d do it, no matter how ridiculous? Ever wish you could do it from a web page? Ever wish the guy was wearing a chicken suit?

Okay, me neither. But just in case…

The Subservient Chicken

In theory, this site is designed to sell BK chicken bits. All I see is a guy in a chicken suit (with garters!?) getting sweaty. After doing those antics all day, I’ll bet he could use some Disposable Underwear.

Life imitates art imitates life?

How’s this for a Twighlight Zone plot?

Heaven help us if they ever prempt that Simpsons episode where Homer tries to stop a nuclear reactor meltdown.

Or for that matter, any given episode of MadTV.

Well, it seems as though God will have me among the living once again. Starting March 22nd I will be working in a Computer Support/Administrative Asst. type o’job from 8:30a - 5:30p. I am still quite numb from the experience so far. It all happened so quickly, something like a car wreck. It seems so strange to be looking forward to normalcy but not seeing it as so normal. I need to thank you guys for stepping up to pray and listen. Your patience and wisdom was inspiring…

God Bless You…..

Welcome to another installment of….

The What The? Files

Sometimes doing work around the house can be a real pain. That’s why the rich hire maids… why clean up your own mess, for crying out loud?

But what happens when you go to, say, the gym and have to haul out your own stinky clothes? There’s no maid to do your laundry for you there, and that’s downright inconvenient. Un-American, even. So to heck with schlepping those sweaty underpants back home. Introducing…

Disposable Underpants for Grownups

When your new polypropylene undies get too stinky to wear again, just throw them away, and let the landfill deal with them! Or maybe they’ll get recycled into a Tupperware Pie Server, or the backing for, ironically enough, Stainmaster carpet.

But who cares? Your panties are somebody else’s problems now.

Disposable rubbery underpants:
  $3 plus $1 shipping and handling ($2 for the first pair)

Wearing a fresh pair every day for a year:
  $1,461

Saving an hour a week doing laundry so you can focus on your new diet:
  Priceless.

Welcome to another installment of….

The What The? Files

Forget Atkins or South Beach. What you need is a tangible reminder of what all that blubber in your belly really looks like. In lieu of carrying around a jar of liposuction leftovers, we humbly suggest…

My Pet Fat

That’s right, repulse yourself right out of an appetite! (And maybe think skinny thoughts while in your Endless Pool.)

I can’t wait for these guys to come out with products that promote colon health. MyPetPolyp, anyone?

Those who have known me for a while have heard my advocation of the anti-fanatical muslim pig-lard bomb. If their fundamentalism is their strength…use it against them. ‘Fight without fighting’ - Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Someone Else is using the idea.